because who cries during an exam?
You know there’s something wrong when you walk into the kitchen at 9PM and your mom is hunched over the stove, her face is red, and she’s crying.
This is the same mom who keeps telling you “it will get better”, who has been putting up with your tears and your endless breakdowns, your lack of concentration, your emotions.
And you feel terrible, because it makes you feel so selfish. Haven’t you ever thought that maybe, when you asked “you okay?” and she said “yeah”, she didn’t really mean it? That maybe she’s just as sad as you are? Or more?
And you know something isn’t right when your dad comes in and when you start crying, he hugs you, which hasn’t happened since you were four, and he tells you, “I know I haven’t been the best example… I haven’t been a pillar of strength…”
And this is the same dad who broke down by your bedside, who has been crying himself to sleep and crying the moment he wakes up, who has been grieving and mourning and sinking.
And something’s definitely wrong when you, who keeps falling apart at all the wrong moments, are trying your very hardest to fall in love.
Who does that?
things i want
1. a tattoo of a ducati multistrada on my foot, near the ankle
2. a tattoo of my full name
4. to get famous
5. to become an actress
6. to learn how to fix a car engine
7. to learn to ride a motorbike
8. to break a law
9. to fix something
10. to get something right
11. to change the world
12. to change singapore’s art scene
13. a cat
14. a baby
15. to leave singapore
16. to leave my family
17. a birthday present (yeah, i’ve never gotten a present from anyone except my family)
18. another set of ear piercings
19. abs
20. modern dance
21. freedom
